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Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman




There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has her.




Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man,The Master of Women'
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.




A man who surrenders when he is WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he is NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders even when he is RIGHT, is a HUSBAND




Man receives telegram: Your wife is dead - should she be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.




Fact of life:

One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!




Life is a paradox-

What u want u don't get (love),
what u get, u don't enjoy (marriage),
what u enjoy is not permanent (girlfriend),
what is permanent Is boring (wife)




What men want:

A woman who can cook,
a woman who earns good money,
a woman who loves him??AND.........
a system to make surethat those 3 women never meet each other!




Computer Software Problems - Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support Team,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support).

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary WithShort Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Thanks & Regards
Support Team




       

 


                           

 

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